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THE FIRST DAY OF FEELING WELL AGAIN


It wasn’t, hopefully, too serious, just enough to keep you in bed, and feeling miserable, for three or four days. You had a bowl of lentil soup - hot and bland - and sensed its worthy goodness and nutritious calm. Someone brought you a cup of weak tea and touched you deeply with their attention. While you were feeling poorly, certain themes of your life took a back seat. It didn’t seem to matter so much what was happening at work. You didn’t have the energy to get roused by news. You didn't feel obliged to respond to texts. Your sexual appetites were in recession. Things you’d never normally even notice are now sources of positive pleasure; being able to breathe easily, swallowing without wincing. You can focus on the the back of your head; there’s not a trace of the throb that was your agonising companion for the last 48 hours. Your eyes feel energetic. Your brain is coming alive. The mere act of standing up (without feeling dizzy or weak) is a delight. It’s fascinating to put on proper clothes - and going outside seems, briefly, like a privilege. As we reemerge into the world, we are reconnecting with so much that had been taken for granted. We’re not literally required to be ill to draw pleasure from existence. Potentially we could generate gratitude by a pure exercise of the imagination - but given what our distracted spirits are like, we might just have to wait for the special prompt of a few days of sickness in order to notice the true wonder of being alive.

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